ACHE OF THE AGE

2-3 days ago, I celebrated my new job by going to buy some clothes for work and glasses at H&M. I exactly know that the bright light show the real skin on the mirror but I rare though about my age when I felt I was in the young group while my face looks like a boy. I changed my theory after I saw my skin on H&M mirror 's fitting room. I fuckin' needed to scream when I saw my imperfect hair shape on my face while my skin on the face and back suck.

I had never had the skin like this since I was 15, I used to have the problem about pimple due to homo. I rare noticed the effect after Songkarn, hung out, slept late and drank too much were going to damage my 28th skin. It imagines me to the age 30 that what is holly shit going on. However, I bough 2 shirts and 1 suit there.

I am going to blame the climate in Thailand which  made my skin feeling shit with a lot of sweat and I maintain in 60-61 kg ( That is the best maintain in my life after 17 which my weight used to go down to 51 kg. ) I feel shit with the bad skin but my proposal is negative. I bough the skin lotion but I haven't opened it from the pack. It hanged on the shopping back almost 3 weeks already.

Why I damage my skin? I don't know. I just know that my recover energy is going to different from the younger age. I can get fat easier soon after I lost my 6 packs and become almost the normal body now. Work out Work out

WHEN I MET, SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW COINCIDE OR DESTINY?

28th years in my life, I can say that I passed immature, weakness and fragile period for being blooming and shining in mature time.  However, mature life has still had the part of fragile time when I met somebody that I used to know after 5 months broke up and had never ever contacted for 4 months. For sure, he deleted me from his LINE and Whatsapp


It's so funny, I hanged out with a friend and coincided to meet him to sit at the bar opposite me. He started saying , " Hi, are you ok? "  What's the hack on?  Stop to damage me with that friendly word if we have never been a friend. He makes me feel missing him so much. I just answered  some words and walked away with a new better friend. Finally, I met him and his mate in front of the disco avenue, again but I just walked away from him.


5 months ago, I found him everywhere which i though he might be but he had never been there until I gave up and forgot him. Why he appeared in Friday and Saturday nights? I hated him especially he made me find his line and whatsapp and knew that he deleted mine. I started calling him Saturday morning due to my stupid idea that I should be nice and should  friendly talk with him but useless. He didn't pick up a phone while he didn't call back.How bitches he is?


Finally, I met him again at the other side of my hanging out place, He sat on the table in the back of me and worn favorite t-shirt style.... Damn.. why we have the same style and why he sat there. I hate him. He made me try to look at him although he moved in side of the same bar and talked with others. I watched him while I was in the birthday party and dating. I can't say, he ruined my days, he might make me happy to see him , again although I was unhappy much.

LIVE & LEARN TO LOVE URSELF

I surprise every times when I sit and notice myself that how  I change about mature, idea and everything ( including age and line ;-( ) . I passed the child tween and teenager and transform to be mature  with  100 times  for heart broken , cheated, challenged and passion. It makes me believe that nobody dies for " LOVE " when God created 3,000 million people to born to love you. The powerful word is  " Live and Learn to Love yourself before you love each others ".
 
That's true , we are a man ,so it's normal to get devastate when we meet someone in our life and feel " Yah, he/she is perfect for me."  Experience tough me that we might think by ourselves. Sometimes, we can fit only the first time when we meet. Finally, we gonna say " No" or stop the relation. If we don't do first, the opposite will start to do it.

Experience tough me to love myself more than going down to fight with bitches/ prostitutes who live and learn to love for  surviving.  We have never tough to do that, it's not our job. I must not surprise when I lost with those bitches and whores. I got the well-education enough to take care myself and recover quickly than you guys know. Finally, I just anticipate that my lover will be back although it's only 1%.

I can change for fit with my honey but I am honest that I mustn't change all for you. I can't be stupid to sit and smile. I'm not innocent enough to do it. If you need a guy who can't fight  with you, no idea , just go for him, It's not me. I can look pass or close one eye for something but don't think, you can do it. Sorry, I love myself.

I'm sorry, I can't wait you over 1 week. It's enough for me. If you don't have the signal or something want me to wait you. Please, stop hurt me. My heart and my body got pain enough and don't wanna absorb it anymore. My pool is smaller when I am older. I'm not in the young group anymore. I don't have more choice like 1o years ago.

 If you go, I just say goodbye, see ya. I can't cry more for love. It's enough for me. I learn to love myself and don't wanna wait my tear for you.