ACHE OF THE AGE

2-3 days ago, I celebrated my new job by going to buy some clothes for work and glasses at H&M. I exactly know that the bright light show the real skin on the mirror but I rare though about my age when I felt I was in the young group while my face looks like a boy. I changed my theory after I saw my skin on H&M mirror 's fitting room. I fuckin' needed to scream when I saw my imperfect hair shape on my face while my skin on the face and back suck.

I had never had the skin like this since I was 15, I used to have the problem about pimple due to homo. I rare noticed the effect after Songkarn, hung out, slept late and drank too much were going to damage my 28th skin. It imagines me to the age 30 that what is holly shit going on. However, I bough 2 shirts and 1 suit there.

I am going to blame the climate in Thailand which  made my skin feeling shit with a lot of sweat and I maintain in 60-61 kg ( That is the best maintain in my life after 17 which my weight used to go down to 51 kg. ) I feel shit with the bad skin but my proposal is negative. I bough the skin lotion but I haven't opened it from the pack. It hanged on the shopping back almost 3 weeks already.

Why I damage my skin? I don't know. I just know that my recover energy is going to different from the younger age. I can get fat easier soon after I lost my 6 packs and become almost the normal body now. Work out Work out

LIVE & LEARN TO LOVE URSELF

I surprise every times when I sit and notice myself that how  I change about mature, idea and everything ( including age and line ;-( ) . I passed the child tween and teenager and transform to be mature  with  100 times  for heart broken , cheated, challenged and passion. It makes me believe that nobody dies for " LOVE " when God created 3,000 million people to born to love you. The powerful word is  " Live and Learn to Love yourself before you love each others ".
 
That's true , we are a man ,so it's normal to get devastate when we meet someone in our life and feel " Yah, he/she is perfect for me."  Experience tough me that we might think by ourselves. Sometimes, we can fit only the first time when we meet. Finally, we gonna say " No" or stop the relation. If we don't do first, the opposite will start to do it.

Experience tough me to love myself more than going down to fight with bitches/ prostitutes who live and learn to love for  surviving.  We have never tough to do that, it's not our job. I must not surprise when I lost with those bitches and whores. I got the well-education enough to take care myself and recover quickly than you guys know. Finally, I just anticipate that my lover will be back although it's only 1%.

I can change for fit with my honey but I am honest that I mustn't change all for you. I can't be stupid to sit and smile. I'm not innocent enough to do it. If you need a guy who can't fight  with you, no idea , just go for him, It's not me. I can look pass or close one eye for something but don't think, you can do it. Sorry, I love myself.

I'm sorry, I can't wait you over 1 week. It's enough for me. If you don't have the signal or something want me to wait you. Please, stop hurt me. My heart and my body got pain enough and don't wanna absorb it anymore. My pool is smaller when I am older. I'm not in the young group anymore. I don't have more choice like 1o years ago.

 If you go, I just say goodbye, see ya. I can't cry more for love. It's enough for me. I learn to love myself and don't wanna wait my tear for you.









  

LONG TERM AND SHORT TERM FRIENDS

        Thai culture makes us look nice and friendly with neighbors and foreigners. We smile and be polite with them although  they are stranger or we rare know them. It's the strongest point for  the sexy word " Siam Smile "  for us. In the other hand , it's the tragedy of the word " Friend "  (เพื่อน ( Phean ) ) in The Land of Smile. In English, Friend is a kind of Specific word and very very special , I have never heard any Native speaker uses the word Class Friend, Room Friend, Working Friend and any words about friend in their native English ( or they have? please amend me ), they uses the word as  classmate, roommate, mate, colleague , co-worker while in Thai language , we  put the word  " Friend" in every collaborated relation words as  Phean Roum Ngan ( Colleague , Co-Worker), Phen Rum Hong ( Classmate ) and etc. So, I separate  2 kinds of  Friend 


Short Term Friend :  Just know  at the bars, restaurants, trip , schools or dealing in the business. Youjust hang out together sometimes or once or twice in our life or deal for some jobs. They can come and go, missing contact, any times.  It's easy to delete on Facebook ( Mostly, I got delete ) but some can extend the relation and switch to be long.It becomes SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW but not feel anything much.


Long Term Friend : Know a long time in the different situations. It's the up level of  Short Term  Friend but the relation more closer, keeping contact, more sharing, no cheating and supporting , and must be at least 2 years ( some people give  5 -10 years probation ). This group hasn't had the chance to switch back to be Short Term Friend,but it becomes  SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW ,feel like shit but still have some chance to return.


      Facebook is the  great example, we always add a lot of people who we talk and know or maybe not know. If we don't know them. They delete us, it's ok while you used to do some activities, studying or work with them and they delete you after you don't have the contact with them or you still keep contact but not like a favorite one, it means that you are not important in  their life.  In the business world, I got this one in Pattaya, a lot of foreign clients call me ' Friend" while I rare know them and for sure, no more discount ;-). 


     Moreover, Friend still has the section as Biz Friend, Good Friend, Close Friend, Fuck Friend ( someone may have it ;-) ) , Real Friend,  Middle Long and Short  Term Friend and more. You can state any words about friend from you until you go to the world Best Friend. Let try to count how many Long Term Friend do you have?

How Hard To Write Your Life Story in the Young Age

After I stated on my facebook that I would re-write my story, again. One comment is very interesting  that " I'm old enough to to tell  about my life? " . That question is very good idea, it makes me keep writing my blog although I don't write / don't update everyday/ nobody interests to read it.  Who know next 10 years . when I return to read my blog, I might laugh or cry about my  story or maybe see the change of the word as the language or emotional symbol. :-)

I think, If I'm 10 years older, I will not have  time or no idea to write something like this. It's not negative as I have the financial crisis. I feel,  I will no idea to write about it or  I might forget what's happened when i was young. Young age should be the most interesting period because we are Asian, our young age will be the end after we are 30 years old ( Some people might feel 25-26 yr very old ) , it means we  have the young age shorter than European /American countries which people think, 30 is still young.  In the other case, I may have some part of my life more mature than people in the same age.  If you think, Sex, Drug , Roll n' Roll was the normal life for my young age . No, No, No...I used to be very very quiet and feared a stranger before. So, my perception was different from other people in the same or almost same age for sure.

One more thing . I  am a bit lucky which I was born in the period when the world was changing and US dollar only 21-22 baht/dollar and Australian dollar only 8-9 baht/dollar. I use to touch the first Nintendo, played the first gameboy in the world and enjoy with classy music in 80's + 90's . My parents watched Iraq news the whole day in early 90's. See the peak economy of Japan and Asia and bubble economy of Asia due to Tom Yum Kung Disease, got insulted by a drunk journalist about my generation when I was 9 years old.  Is it enough to write everything to be 1 story/ topic?  :-)